Loss & Grief: Is it the end or a new beginning?
Loss is one of the most difficult things that can occur to us. We try to soothe it or even give it a more romantic point of view. But the pain of separation from a person or an object we care about is one of the toughest things we will ever experience. If we find the courage to see behind the pain loss brings us, we may discover some blessings…
None of us would choose to experience a loss, but does the loss we experience brings to the surface a weakness of ours? Does it show us a truth that we couldn’t comprehend? Does it show us a truth that we could not bear to face? Is everything done for a reason? Could it be that by refusing to accept loss, do we not trust in some higher Universal-Divine plan? Does it show us a lack of faith in something bigger than us? In God, in our higher self, in the Universe? Let’s ask ourselves these questions, and maybe loss will help us expand the way we see things and deal with them.
Just as there can be no good without evil or light without darkness so there can be no growth without loss and there is no loss without growth.
Whatever we think belongs to us in this life, we have essentially borrowed it. People who suffer from a serious illness, appreciate life better and understand in-depth its value. I have seen people at the Cancer Hospital rejoice simply because it dawned and they are still alive. The rest of us how much do we value our every day? Our loved ones as long as we have them? How grateful do we feel for what already exists in our lives? In the end, by losing something we have, we may realize how much we appreciate what we have left!
Trying to find permanence somewhere is a dead-end and we eventually learn that trying to keep everything as well as trying to prevent the loss, does not give us security.
One of the purposes that loss serves in our lives is that it unites us, helps us to understand each other more deeply and connects us in a unique way that no other life lesson can offer us. We care about each other and experience each other in a new and very intense way when we connect with a loss.
Most of the things we own and mean something to us may not actually be about them. On the contrary, they mean a lot because they represent something for us and what they represent is ours forever. If we lose something that was given to us and reminds us of the love of a loved one, we will simply lose the object. We will never lose the love we received!
The lesson that the treatment of an old loss gives us is the realization that we cannot avoid new losses. To ensure that we do not lose anyone else we keep everyone at a distance. That in itself is a loss. No one can know the future and no matter how much we want it, we cannot avoid a loss.
Loss is often the initiation into adulthood. There is something in common in every loss. Whether it is the loss of a person or a thing, the loss of balance, or the Grace of God. Just as the diamond passes through fire to come out from the other side processed, so we, with the loss pass through the fire to come out to the other side of life changed and improved.
Nothing is ours forever! The realization of this truth should not surprise us. On the contrary, thanks to it, we can appreciate all the wonderful experiences and all the wonderful things we have while living in this world in so many ways
Those who have great losses in their lives are blessed!!!! It is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all! And the truth is that we would rarely exchange the experience of having and losing someone, with the experience of never having them! Those who have suffered the loss of life eventually become stronger and more complete, if they have this perspective. If we do not approach loss in this way, we end up incorporating fears and insecurities into everything that may arise, and eventually, we completely lose the joy and quality in our lives.
People who lose someone because of a divorce or separation realize death is not the ultimate loss. Probably the most difficult of all is the separation from our loved ones! Perhaps knowing that the other continues to exist without being able to share it with them, causes more pain and makes the solution of the problem much more difficult than permanent separation due to death. With those who have died, we usually find new ways to communicate, reviving them in our hearts and memories. Lessons are learned from those who at one time or another were clinically dead and later came back to life. The first thing they tell us is that they have stopped feeling the fear of death. They know that death is nothing more than the rejection of a body. It’s like taking off a garment that you no longer need. They remember that in their death they had a very deep and intense sense of fullness and the feeling that they had contact with everyone and everything, without the sense of loss. Finally, they mention that they never felt alone, but there was always someone with them.
The material in this article is a distillate of my knowledge and experiences on a professional and personal level. I hope it will inspire you and give you ideas to deal with any loss that may arise. I hope you discover, like many others, that loss is not only an end, but it is a new beginning! If you need extra help, contact me. I will be very happy to work together and provide you with a solution to any loss that concerns you.
Tzoganaki Kiriaki
Holistic beautician, energy psychotherapist, Life Mentor
